


One Month Later

by 13th_Doctor_of_the_Tardis (imperiousheiress)



Series: Torchwood Coffeeshop Misadventures [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Torchwood
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, F/M, Fluff, Humor, M/M, oblivious idiots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-18
Updated: 2013-01-24
Packaged: 2017-11-21 12:23:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/597714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imperiousheiress/pseuds/13th_Doctor_of_the_Tardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first month after Jack starts making regular stops at Torchwood should be fairly normal as he adjusts to the new people and, more importantly, they adjust to him. But, Jack Harkness has never really been one for doing things normally, and can't seem to keep crazy adventures off his tail. He's also an exceptional disturber of the peace. Relationships are formed, memories are uncovered, and madness ensues. Pure madness.</p><p>Edit: This is going to remain unfinished indefinitely. Apologies to anyone who may have been holding out hope for an update for some reason.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lisa

**Author's Note:**

> Day 6- Tuesday 20 August

It was six days after Jack had first wandered into Ianto’s coffeeshop. He’d already memorised every imperfection in the painted _Torchwood_ above the door, already knew where Ed kept each of his cooking instruments, had rooted out Rhys’ most popular napping spots. He’d returned every day, and that Tuesday was no exception. He’d gone as far as to take the day off work unless he was absolutely needed for whatever reason.

Jack already had his own apron, one they’d managed to dig from the back of some unknown closet. Unfortunately for him, it was startlingly red and Christmas themed, with a big bow and the words “Ho Ho Ho” printed on it. Unfortunately for everyone else, he talked up all the girls (and most of the men) that entered the store, and just used the garish garb as an excuse to make corny Christmas-themed puns about presents and early holidays and everything else that was banned from the book of bad pick-up lines for being too horrid.

He helped out a lot though, and had unwittingly reeled in a few new regulars with his charm. Or at least, he could when he actually felt like working. Most of the time, he was distracting Ianto or trying to find a place to sneak into the kitchen and experiment with ingredients, much to Ed’s displeasure. The cook may have been a cuddly giant, but he never hesitated to kick Jack out with a reprimand like scolding a puppy, which was exactly what the Captain looked like whenever he was evicted.

It was a particularly quiet part of that Tuesday. Normally around two everything slowed down, and Ed, Suzie, and Rhys had headed out for a late lunch, leaving Ianto in charge of Jack and the store. The pair had only requested they bring food back for them in exchange. Ianto was lazily scrubbing down an empty table with a look of content across his face while Jack sat at the wheeled chair behind the counter, goofing off. It was when he decided to fiddle with the drawers in the desk that he found the picture.

Bored out of his mind, he had found a locked drawer and challenged him to use his military knowledge in picking it. With the tools he always carried in his pocket for just such an opportunity, he cracked it in less than five minutes. (Jack had locked himself out of his flat one too many times, and he’d made it a habit to make sure he had the means to get back in at all times… just in case. Also, cute girls were always exceptionally grateful when he magicked up a way to help them into their cars after they locked their keys inside, and impressed on the side.) He hadn’t meant any harm from it. He was just going to close it right up again, when he saw the photograph sitting atop the organised contents of the drawer. Unable to resist, he picked it up.

In the photo, Ianto was standing alongside a pretty girl with dark hair, his arms around her. They were both smiling at the camera, though the Welshman’s attention seemed to be more focused on the girl than anything going on around him. He was more dressed up than Jack had ever seen, with a crisp white shirt and silver tie matching the dress the girl beside him was donning. He looked extremely happy and Jack found his lips twitching up in a smile at the man’s contagious joy, even on photograph.

“Please don’t touch that.”

Jack jumped at the sound of Ianto’s voice coming from his left and he spun in his chair to face the younger man, sitting up straight. He looked up guiltily, seeing Ianto’s unreadable expression trained carefully on the floor. Jack could tell by the teaboy’s unusual politeness and soft volume that he had done something wrong. Carefully, the Captain set the delicate photograph back where he’d found it, smoothing out an old crease gently before closing the drawer again.

“Kindly refrain from digging through things that don’t belong to you in the future, please,” Ianto huffed without much conviction behind it.  

“Who is she?” Jack asked quietly, only curious. Ianto didn’t answer for a moment, though there was a noticeable stutter to his breathing when Jack questioned him. Finally, the Welshman’s blue eyes met his for a moment. Seeing the pain reflected there, memories he didn’t want to hold on to, the Captain knew he had crossed a line.

“No one,” Ianto said, barely a whisper. In an instant, he had disappeared, retreating into the solitude of the now empty kitchen. Standing up, Jack tried the knob, finding it locked.

“Ianto,” he called softly, hearing no response from the other side. With a sigh, the Captain returned to his chair, forehead coming in contact with the wood surface of the desk with a painful thunk and staying there as he groaned at his stupidity.

Some ten minutes later, the other three Torchwood employees returned to find him in the same position.

“Wake up, you arse,” Rhys scolded with a roll of his eyes as Jack earned a slap on the back of the head from Suzie.

“You’re one to talk,” Ed mumbled, earning him a glare from the other man. Jack lifted his head, a red oval imprinted on his forehead where it had been attached to the counter.

“Not sleeping,” he groaned. “Just mourning my lack of brain cells and the impulsiveness of my mouth that caused Ianto to lock himself in the kitchen.”

“The hell did you do, Harkness?” Suzie grumbled so only the four of them could hear, eyes narrowing into an icy glare.

“I got bored, so I picked the lock on one of these desk drawers,” Jack explained with a tired sigh. “I wasn’t trying to do any harm. I found a photograph. It was of Ianto, with this other girl… Look, I’m sorry, OK? I shouldn’t have poked around.”

There was a heavy silence in the air that caused the Captain to look up. Ed and Rhys had grown sullen and quiet and, to his surprise, Suzie’s normal look of hatred towards him had shrunk into something gentler… more sympathetic.

“Ask him about Lisa,” she said simply, handing him a spare key to the kitchen. Jack took it and nodded silently, turning away from them and putting it to use. He could have unlocked the door at any time, forced his way in… But he didn’t feel right about doing it, and he wasn’t entirely sure what to say to the other man. He’d obviously hit a tender subject, but other than that he knew nothing. It was impossible to approach an apology without knowing what he was dealing with, and he was too afraid of scaring Ianto off… permanently.

Taking a breath, Jack pushed open the door and closed it behind himself again. The kitchen appeared empty, but he knew better. The quantity of hiding spots throughout the little shop was surprisingly high, and none were more discreet than the ones tucked away in the back room.

“Yan,” Jack tried again, feeling like he’d only last called for the Welshman seconds ago. He waited with bated breath for a response.

“Here,” a small voice responded from under a counter. Jack approached slowly and got down on his knees, opening the cupboard drawers cautiously. Ianto was squeezed inside the empty space, wiping tears from his now red eyes.

“Come on, now,” Jack coaxed, reaching in and taking the younger man’s hand, squeezing gently. “That can’t be comfortable. You’re going to wrinkle your pretty sweater.”

A small smile cracked the melancholy expression Ianto had been wearing. Slowly, he stretched his legs out of the confined space, followed by his waist and his shoulders, until he was sitting on the floor. Still holding his hand, Jack gripped the edge of a countertop and pulled himself up, bringing the smaller Welshman with him. Ianto fell against the Captain’s chest as he leaned back against the table.

“So who is Lisa?” Jack asked again, rubbing circles into the other man’s back in a comforting motion. “You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want. But I thought you might want to get it off your chest. I know how nice it can be to talk to someo-”

“She was my girlfriend,” Ianto cut him off, voice barely above a whisper. He pulled away from Jack, moving to lean against the counter next to him, still pressed up against the older man’s side. “She broke up with me last October. She said something about finding herself. She was starting to struggle with family issues, and her mother had been very sick. I was hurt and stupid and angry with her, so I told her off. I yelled at her and kicked her out. Two days later, she was on her way to visit her mum and there was an accident… She died overnight in the hospital. I kept thinking it over then, and it still haunts me today. If I hadn’t been such an idiot. If I hadn’t let my anger get the best of me. If I had tried to help her. If I had convinced her to stay. If I had let her talk things out with me. If, If, If… And I can’t get over it, Jack. I know I had nothing to do with it, and it happened because life is stupid and cruel, but I still blame myself, even though I know I shouldn’t. I just keep wondering about what could have happened, if I hadn’t gotten so worked up…”

He sniffled and Jack moved to wrap his arms around the Welshman again, letting him bury his face in the Captain’s shoulder as he held him tight.

“Shh, Ianto, stop,” Jack soothed quietly, carding a hand through the younger man’s hair and wanting more than anything to stop his tears. “There was nothing you could have done. Her mother was sick; nothing was going to stop her from going to be with her. If it had been reversed, I don’t think she could have stopped you from going either. You can be a stubborn arse sometimes, you know.”

Ianto laughed at that, a somewhat broken sound that sent pangs coursing through Jack’s heart, twisting his feelings up into knots. They stood quietly for a moment, relishing in the embrace, finding comfort in knowing they had both experienced loss. Sometimes it was simply nice to know there was someone else out there for you, someone who would hold you when the terrors and regrets got too much for you to handle by yourself, someone who knew what it was like and could give you their heart to lay yours on until you were sharing in something so deep and buried that it was unbreakable.

“Thank you,” the Welshman murmured, pulling his face away from Jack’s shoulder and frowning at the tearstains he had left on the fabric covering it. The Captain dropped his arms, smoothing out the shorter man’s hair before pulling his hands back to his sides.

“Hungry?” Jack questioned, falling back into his flirtatious grin. “The others brought us back some food. I have no clue what the hell they picked out. Knowing Suzie’s feelings towards me, it’s probably laced with some kind of rare, untraceable poison or at least paralytic. She probably picked out the least desirable item on the menu, too. Pig eyeballs or something. Actually, those aren’t all bad.”

Ianto smiled at him, shaking his head.

“Yea, I’m starving actually,” he agreed, running his hands over the wrinkles in his black jumper. “We should probably go inspect the damage before we decide weather we’re actually going to eat whatever dog meat they brought back or not. And while we eat, you should tell me stories of places you’ve been. I could use one right now.”

“Well, there was this one beach with this _girl_ ,” Jack licked his lips, remembering. “Her and martinis were like you and coffee. I swear I’ll never have anything like them again.”

“No way,” Ianto laughed. “No one could be as good with anything as I am with coffee.”

“ _Well_ …” Jack trailed off as they strode out of the kitchen and into the shop.

It only took about two seconds of them examining their food to decide to go out.

Jack spent the whole meal telling ridiculous (and more likely true than not) tales of his time on the beach and love-hate relationship with martinis that week.


	2. The War of the Beans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack & Ianto and Rhys & Ed make forts and have a coffee bean war one Sunday after early closing.  
> Day 11-Sunday 25 August

Ianto opened Torchwood at seven Sunday morning and closed it up again at two in the afternoon.

Sunday was Jack’s mandatory day off work.

Needless to say, he really hated that particular day of the week. With the short working hours of the little coffeeshop that he’d found himself at more than his own flat most days, he had nothing to do all day. They parted ways after too short a time together, Ed and Suzie going out for the day, Rhys getting to go back to bed, and Ianto doing whatever Ianto did when he wasn’t at work (Jack suspected he went home and tried making new tea blends for fun). Jack mucked about his flat, wishing he were anywhere else. Or more specifically, anywhere else that served coffee, had a name beginning with the letter ‘T’, and was owned by the cutest teaboy in Wales.

The first Sunday had been awful. Jack had slept in, figuring he’d have plenty of time to make his way to the coffeeshop and spend all afternoon with Ianto. He’d learned the hard way when he’d come in for lunch around noon and found himself shuffling home again in the rain a mere two hours later. Hardly any of that time had been spent chatting, either, since Ianto had had to cater to the noon rush, dashing about and serving table after table. They’d only gotten an hour together besides the snippets of conversation they stole while Ianto waited on Jack and the Captain stalled as much as he could to keep him there.

After that, he’d gotten smart… Or _smarter_ , at least. The second Sunday, he set his alarm for six so he could get up and get ready in order to make it to Torchwood just as it opened. As it turned out, he made it _before_ they even opened. Suzie, standing guard at the door, refused to let him in (“We open at _seven_ , Harkness! It’s still only 6:52!”) until Ianto intervened.

Jack shamelessly donned his apron, offering his help for the rest of the day. Of course, the Welshman couldn’t refuse, much to Suzie’s chagrin. Rhys, on the other hand, was ecstatic, and took over the cash register in order to laze about. He would take any excuse he could get to avoid movement of any kind.

So it was that Jack took to working at Torchwood for the day. He was already an honorary unpaid member of the staff, anyway, and he figured he might advance to something like unpaid worker of the month or something along those lines if he upped the hours he put in.

That was also the day that he learned Suzie was prone to chronic headaches when Rhys had to drive her home at around ten. They were left once again with the regular four workers, though Jack almost felt like it was just he and Ianto since Ed was in the back, unseen except for when he emerged to give food to Rhys to pass on to one of the two servers, and Rhys was half asleep behind the front counter.

They talked a lot between taking orders, even getting a chance to sit down at their table and have their own cups of earl grey, adjusting the little heart-covered reserved sign. Finally, closing time came around, though it felt much to soon for Jack, and the temporary member of the Torchwood team gleefully found himself on cleanup duty after they had locked the door. He would do anything he could to keep himself at the coffeeshop as long as daylight remained. The Captain swept slowly while Ianto wiped tables.

“You’re going to wipe a hole right through the wood if you keep it up,” Jack joked. Ianto cast him a playful glare.

“It has to be spotless, I have a reputation to uphold,” he huffed with a glance at the broom in Jack’s hand and the floor under it. “A reputation that’s going to be ruined because of your shoddy sweeping, mind you.”

“Hey! I resent that!” Jack shot back, grinning. “I’m just taking my time. Quality over quantity, yea?”

A coffee bean hit Jack in the head, ceasing his laughter. He glanced at the offending projectile before hunting out the person who had catapulted it at him from across the room.

“Would you two stop the flirting and pick up the cleaning?” Rhys complained. “I want to get home before nightfall.”

“With your shoes up on the counter like that, you’re only succeeding in being counterproductive, actually,” Ianto snapped. “You could be helping, too.”

Another coffee bean hit the Welshman between the eyes, causing him to start and stumble into a table. He looked across at Jack and they exchanged a look before the Captain dropped his broom with a clang, pointing at the man behind the counter dramatically.

“That’s it! I interpret this as a declaration of _war_ , Rhys Williams!” Jack declared. “I propose a counterattack the likes of which will send you running! You can’t get away with this assault unscathed! Unless, of course, you wish to surrender your army now?”

“No way in bloody hell, Harkness!” Rhys exclaimed, scrambling to his feet. “I accept your challenge! What are to be the rules of this _war_?”      

“We each have half an hour to plan our attack from our respective bases,” he decided after a moment. “Each team gets a flag and sack of coffee beans as ammo. Whoever secures the other team’s flag first wins.”

“Good,” Rhys nodded. “What’re the flags gonna be now, then?”

“How about this for us?”

Rhys and Jack both turned to look at the Welshman who had spoken. He was holding a shiny golden stopwatch in his hand, flashing its gleaming surface towards them both, so they could see it clearly.

“Fine, and I’ll use my hat,” their opponent said, fishing for the fedora that he’d only been donning at the very beginning of the day and that had somehow found its way underneath the counter. Jack and Ianto nodded.

“Ianto, if you’d please?”

“Thirty minutes and counting… now,” Ianto confirmed with a press of the stopwatch button. As soon as the word was out of his mouth, Rhys was off through the back door, calling, “Ed and I call the kitchen!”

As soon as he was gone, Jack moved across the room to his teammate, gears already spinning in his mind.

“I suppose that means we have the shop then,” he said.

“What’s your plan of attack then, _Captain_?” Ianto asked with a smirk. Jack returned the expression conspiratorially.

“Alright, then, listen up.”

Twenty-six minutes later, the tables had been rearranged into a fort of epic proportions. There were tables and chairs stacked up in the corner where Jack and Ianto had decided to bunker down and the room was strewn haphazardly with furniture, making it into a minefield of the coffeshop’s effects. Jack had organised an escape route allowing them to get to the kitchen, but it would only be seen by someone who knew exactly where it was. Rhys and Ed were going to have a hell of a time getting through the mess.

“They should be coming any minute now,” Jack reminded Ianto as he readied the coffee beans, opening the sack and stuffing some into his pants pockets. The Welshman did the same, giving him a nod of affirmation.

“I _know_ , Jack,” he sighed. “I _am_ the one with the mental clock.”  

“Just remember the plan.”

The teaboy only gave him a sceptical look, raising an eyebrow at the other man. Jack simply rolled his eyes in response, knowing Ianto got the message.

“T-minus two minutes to the end of prep time,” he said, eyes not breaking from Jack’s. “I really can’t believe you managed to turn my shop into a disaster area within that amount of time.”

“Only because I had your help,” Jack said pointedly, giving him a smirk. He  walked over and grabbed his teammate’s arm, crouching behind their base tables, which were on their sides, the legs pointed out towards the kitchen door, away from them. Ianto sat down next to him, ready to spring up and fire if the enemy came through. They both glanced over their wall, waiting. Ianto made an announcement when the thirty minutes was up… and another a few minutes later, when the time had long past.

“They’re not coming,” Ianto muttered under his breath. “It’s been thirty five minutes, twenty-four seconds.”

“So I noticed,” Jack replied at the same volume, on edge. “What in the hell are they waiting for?”

Just as both men’s nerves were worn to the breaking point, ready to snap at any  moment, the kitchen door opened with a bang as it slammed against the wall. Rhys gave a battle cry, Ed right on his heels. They threw coffee beans in every direction, hoping to catch the other team off-guard.

Jack and Ianto ducked low to avoid getting hit, hearing Rhys shout, “Ed, clear a path!”

“On it!” the cook responded.

Jack poked his head above their sheltered space as tables and chairs crashed aside, going in all directions as Ed tried to clear a path without permanently breaking anything. The burly blonde was strong, after all, even if it was from hauling boxes of food cans to the homeless shelter or crates of stray cats to the animal hospital. And Ianto would kill him if anything was cracked, shattered, or maltreated in any way whatsoever.

Jack watched him attempt to part the sea of furniture before his eyes locked on Ianto’s. The Welshman nodded, understanding the unasked questioned, _‘Ready?’_

“Go!” Jack shouted, and his teammate dove to the right, ducking into a tunnel they’d left open. The Captain followed instantly, both crawling on their hands and knees under the methodically placed furnishings.

“I’m sure they hid it here somewhere!” they heard Rhys’ loud voice, the clashing together of furniture ceasing. Ianto found his feet at the end of the tunnel and stopped abruptly. Jack followed him, crashing into the other man’s back as he stood still.

“Roadblock,” the Welshman announced. A tabled had been tipped in front of the counter, preventing their access in getting behind it.

“On purpose, I’m sure,” Jack said, impressed. “Alright, Rhys might yet be cleverer than I thought. I’ll go first and help you. No time to waste.”

“Right,” Ianto agreed instantly. Jack put his hands on the younger man’s arms and smoothly switched their positions. With a bit of a skip to start, he vaulted over the obstacle easily, background military experience coming in handy. A flash of nervousness shone in Ianto’s eyes. As soon as Jack gave him an encouraging gesture, he took a breath and steeled himself, jumping over. Jack caught the Welshman’s arm with one hand, putting the other on his lower back and giving him a little extra push and a bit of support, and he was over.

“Let’s go. We’ve got to find their flag; no time to loose,” Jack ordered. “Nice job, by the way.”

“Thank you,” Ianto said with a grin, leading the way into the kitchen. As soon as he made it through the door, a bucket of coffee beans tipped over him, covering him in a brown wave. Jack covered his face, pulling the younger man aside out of the waterfall’s path. Ianto spit out coffee beans, brushing them out of his hair and successfully ruining it’s neatness.

“Wonder how they managed that,” Jack mused, earning himself a glare. “More importantly, where the hell is that bloody hat? There are cabinets from floor to ceiling and beyond in this place, it could be tucked away anywhere.”

“Or on top of the refrigerator.”

The older man glanced at Ianto before following his gaze along the line in which his finger was pointing, seeing what the teaboy was. A peak of the fedora was just visible over the edge of the appliance.

“Ed would have been the only one tall enough to put it there,” Ianto noted.

“But they didn’t count on us being a much better team,” Jack responded, grinning. “Or my having a wit to match my obvious charm.”

“No, I think we’ve all seen you be a smart-ass,” the Welshman retorted.

“Just climb up on the counter,” Jack snapped back, sounding annoyed but smiling in amusement at the same time. He held his hands out in a cup and leaned down, Ianto stepping onto his hands and making a leap to the countertop.

“What am I doing up here?” he asked.

“Getting on me,” Jack answered simply, preceding a snort of laughter at the suggestiveness in his choice of words. He crouched down, bending his knees slightly. “Just hop up on my shoulders, come on. It’ll be fun.”

“You’re sure you can hold me?” Ianto questioned with a note of uncertainty in his tone.

“ _Please_ ,” Jack huffed, looking back up at him with one eyebrow raised in an expression that read _‘Really?’_. The younger man rolled his eyes and resigned himself, climbing carefully onto his teammate’s shoulders. Jack wrapped his arms around Ianto’s legs, which laid against his chest.

Adrenalin pumped as he heard the clattering of tables and chairs from the other room and Rhys and Ed shouting frantically as they made their way back towards the kitchen.

“They’re coming,” Jack warned. He walked forward slowly, sure to support Ianto’s weight so the man on his shoulder’s didn’t tip forwards or backwards and seriously injure himself bringing both of them down.

“No shit,” Ianto growled helpfully. “Almost got it… Just a bit closer…”

Rhys and Ed came bounding into the kitchen and skidded to a halt at the same time Ianto grabbed hold of the hat and  held it above his head triumphantly. Rhys threw his last handful of coffee beans at the laughing pair as the did a victory lap around the long island in the middle of the kitchen, Ianto adorning his head with the black hat. Their laughs fading in and out into babbled conversation about moments of the epic battle, the champions stopped in front of their less fortunate opponents. Jack dropped the man on his shoulders and Ianto’s legs wrapped around his waist, head landing on the Captain’s shoulder as his arms wrapped around his neck.

“Alright, fine, defeat accepted,” Ed sighed, smile begrudging as Rhys pouted at his side. “I didn’t much care to engage in _war_ , but this one’s going to be moping around for a week.” At this, the cook jabbed his thumb in Rhys’ direction. “Good game, boss.”

Ed shook hands with both of them, though Ianto nearly tipped off Jack’s back when he had to dislodge an arm.

“Thanks for playing,” the Welshman laughed.

“So, where in the bloody hell _did_ you put that damn stopwatch?” Rhys questioned bitterly. “We saw the dislodged ceiling panel, so we thought…”

He trailed off, eyes widening as Ianto pulled the little shiny gold object from his pocket, holding it in front of Jack. Rhys’ face went red.

“ _You fucking cheats_!” He accused, his teammate just chuckling.

“Nothing in the rules about keeping the flag on you.” Jack sang.

“ _Harkness_!” Rhys snapped, a bewildered smile twitching at the corners of his lips.       

“Actually, that one was on your boss,” Jack corrected, an obviously fond tone creeping through into his voice. “I actually wanted to hide it in the ceiling.”

“Guilty,” Ianto confessed.

“Impressive,” Rhys agreed, a smile breaking out on his face. “I am impressed. You two are a dastardly duo, you know that? That whole escape route and base you had set up…?”

“Don’t count out the bucket above the door trick,” Jack complimented. “Ianto got the blunt of that one, I’m afraid.”  

“I have coffee beans in places I don’t want to think about,” the Welshman confirmed with a groan, burying his face in the Captain’s shoulder.   

“Give Williams that one, I just did the legwork,” Ed shrugged.

“Speaking of which, I just realised what a mess we’ve made of things…” Ianto muttered with his face still stuck in Jack’s jumper.

“Oh god,” Rhys moaned. “We _just_ cleaned up after closing less than an hour ago.”

“And whose fault was all this?” Jack prompted, smirking triumphantly in the waiter’s direction.

“Fuck you,” Rhys answered in his politest tone, flashing an overemphasized smile in his direction.

“Come on then,” the Captain murmured only to the teaboy still in his arms, readjusting his grip on the younger man’s thighs and resettling the weight hanging off him. “I’ll get to cleaning up. You’re going to have to find a new chair, or else get off to bed.”

Ianto lifted his head, meeting Jack’s much-too-close blue eyes. He gave him a little frown, eyebrows creasing together. The older man resisted the urge to smile at the adorable expression that could be dubbed nothing other than a pout.  

“Jack, it’s not your responsibility,” he protested softly. “And I will not simply go home and leave you to clean up my mess. I wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway. I’d be too guilt-ridden over making you work. I don’t even _pay_ you, and you were here _all day_ working.”

“I don’t need payment,” Jack countered. “And it’s not just _your_ mess. I made it too. I think I was actually the worst offender.”

Their quiet argument went a level deeper and turned into a simple stare-off,  neither man willing to admit defeat. Finally, Rhys cleared his throat. The pair of them blinked and looked back over at he and Ed, seeming to just recall that they were there as well.

“Wow, _honestly_?” Rhys huffed with a roll of his eyes. Ed elbowed him.

“I think what he _means_ is, we contributed to the mess, we’ll help clean it up as well,” the cook asserted. “Don’t worry about it. Rhys and I can take the kitchen first and you two can work on the shop. We’ll come help after we finish. Good?”

“Great,” Jack agreed, flashing him a smile. “See you, then. Good luck.”

“You too,” Ed called as Jack headed out the door, still carrying Ianto on his back.

“I’m going to need to put you down to do anything,” Jack laughed when they’d made it back out onto the main battlefield. Ianto groaned at the prospect of the Captain letting go.

“Do you have to?” he tried. With an amused shake of his head, Jack released his hold on the Welshman’s legs, holding onto the arms draped over his shoulders until he was sure the shorter man had his feet firmly on the ground.

“You were getting heavy,” Jack teased. Ianto shot him a warning look as he passed by to right a table.

“Sod off,” he huffed without menace.

Jack surveyed the destruction quietly while Ianto rolled up his sleeves and slowly set to work picking things off the floor and setting them back on their right feet.

“Sorry about the mess,” Jack apologised. “This was kind of all my doing, after all.”

There was a silence in the air, but the Captain knew he was forgiven, even without words from the younger man. Taking a deep breath, he moved around to the other side of the counter, starting opposite of where Ianto was and beginning to chip away at the chaos.

“It was entirely worth the wreck,” Ianto said off-handedly after a minute of quiet working.   

“Oh, completely,” Jack agreed instantly, almost before the teaboy had finished his sentence.

They found each other’s grins across the room easily.

They were definitely going to have to do this again sometime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka I still can't end chapters well.  
> So, this one's a lot lighter than the last. I hope I made up for any gloom caused by the beginning of this story, but it was kind of neccessary to get that out of the way. Hope you're still enjoying it!  
> Happy Holidays! :D


	3. Jack is forced into an agreement and everything is Owen’s fault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack’s colleagues want to go out, so he brings them around Torchwood and his favourite teaboy, hoping to get a chance to escape his obnoxious co-workers. His mistake.  
> Day 14- Wednesday 28 August

Ianto should have said no. Jack should have never brought it up. But because they both had a knack for doing things they would later regret, they did… and were certainly paying for it.

It was all Owen’s fault. Of course it was Owen’s fault, what wasn’t? He had been the one at work to bring up going out for a cuppa.

“Why don’t we do something together tomorrow? We don’t get out enough, just us blokes,” he had said, rolling his eyes when Toshiko coughed pointedly and gave him a glare. _“Sorry!_ Tosh, too.”

Because of Eugene’s low alcohol tolerance that meant they always had to drag him home and Owen’s rather unfortunate tendency to get overly drunk and start barfights, they decidedly never went to pubs anymore. Alright, maybe not _never_ , but at least very rarely. (That was Owen’s fault too.)

So, Andy, being the brilliant peacemaker he was, suggested something quieter instead, like getting together and ordering takeaway or coffee. Jack had been entirely uninterested in the conversation up till that point, when he could practically see Owen’s smirk, even though the doctor was facing away from him. He cast his co-worker a warning look, but it couldn’t stop him.

“Hey Jack,” he had sung. “We could always go to _your_ place. You know, the one you won’t shut up about? The one you skip out on us to go to nowadays? I for one would _love_ to meet this cute Welsh boy and try his _magnificent_ coffee you keep babbling about. I think we need to give him our own evaluation.”

The other men grinned devilishly at the suggestion, causing Jack to tense up, glaring about the room. He took a deep breath, resisting the sudden urge to walk across the room and smack Owen upside the head.

“No,” he gritted out strictly.

“Aww, why not?” Andy teased. “Come on Jack, give us a chance. We promise to behave, right? Well, except Owen, anyways. I don’t think he’s ever been able to keep a promise in his life.”

“What’s a promise?” Owen added.

“ _No_ ,” Jack repeated, more strictly than before. “I am not letting _any_ of you within a kilometre of that place. You are _not_ getting a chance to antagonise poor Ianto. He doesn’t need to deal with that.”

“He already has you to deal with, we’re nothing in comparison,” Owen shot back.

“Lay off,” Tosh said quietly but meaningfully from across the room, giving the man a glare from behind her reading glasses. He quieted instantly. Jack gave her a grateful look and she cast him a small smile in return. The room was actually quiet for a moment besides the distant noises of computers and Toshiko’s ever-steady typing.

Finally, Eugene broke the silence, quietly piping up from his corner. “Come on, Jack, it’ll be fun…” he said. “What’s the harm in it?”

Jack glanced about the room at the three other men below him and one woman (who was currently uninterested in their usual antics). Finally, he sighed in defeat, knowing things would really only go downhill from that point (more like off a cliff), and dragged his hands down his face.

“Fine,” he muttered. “Maybe. I’ll ask. If- that’s _if_ we go- and any of you says a _word_ out of place, I will haul your asses out so fast, the friction with the air will cause sudden freak lightning and you’ll have to explain it to the meteorologists during your day of suspension. Got it?”   

 Owen gave a woop and Andy a cheer while Eugene grinned at him. Tosh just gave him a sceptical look and shook her head slightly as she worked on her report.

 

Jack had left the office at four and headed straight for Torchwood. He still wasn’t been pleased about the plans he had begrudgingly agreed to. Ianto, ever perceptive, picked up on it right away, frowning at him from where he was working the cash register.

“What’s on your mind, Jack?” he asked. The Captain stalked up to the counter, hands stuffed in his pocket as he frowned, brow furrowed. He sat on the countertop, leaning back behind it until his head was practically in Ianto’s lap where he sat in the wheely chair. The Welshman didn’t protest at the man sprawled across his countertop, absentmindedly playing with Jack’s hair instead.

“My co-workers are complete assjerks,” Jack whined. The corners of Ianto’s lips twitched up in the beginnings of a smile, not even questioning it when the older man made up words anymore.

“Tell me more,” he requested.

Jack sighed, pouting at the teaboy. He really didn’t want to admit what he had agreed to, but he had to give him an advance warning. It was only fair.

“They made me consent to bringing them here tomorrow,” he mumbled with a huff. Ianto’s face melted into a look of surprise and his fingers stilled where they had been weaving through the Captain’s hair. Before he got a chance to respond, however, Suzie interrupted, kicking his dangling legs as she walked past.

“Harkness, stop lounging about on hardware like you own the place,” she sniped. Jack sat up at the prompt, grumbling about the interruption.

“Sod off, Costello,” he responded without much energy.

“Don’t forget who does own the place, Suzie,” Ianto countered.

“You would never let me, boss,” she said as she retreated into the kitchen, the rolling of her eyes practically audible. Jack hopped off the counter, removing his hands from the pockets of his greatcoat. He went around behind the counter, attempting to place himself on Ianto’s lap instead, getting told off by the Welshman before he could succeed and earning himself a gentle shove.

Without exchanging so much as a glance, they both made way towards their table, taking their seats before the discussion resumed as if it had never been interrupted.

“ _Here_? You’re bringing you’re co-workers here?” Ianto questioned. “Aren’t they, like… Completely psychotic?”

“Hey, you’ll like Toshiko,” Jack responded, not giving him a direct answer. Ianto gave him _that_ look and the older man sighed, raising his hands in surrender. “I threatened them into promising to behave. I wouldn’t expect Owen to actually be decent, but I’m sure Tosh will keep him in line; well enough, anyway.”     

“From what you’ve told me of them, I’m not sure that’ll help,” the teaboy murmured.

Jack reached across the table and put his hand on top of Ianto’s in what he hoped would be a reassuring gesture, giving him a smile.

“It’ll be _fine_ ,” he sighed. “Don’t get worked up. And you don’t need to worry about proving anything to them, they’re assholes.”

“That’s not what I was worried about,” Ianto answered, too quickly, covering it as fast as he could with, “More like them tearing apart my entire shop. You’re paying for the damages, Jack.”

The Captain chuckled softly, squeezing the younger man’s hand once before pulling away.

“Fine. Sounds fair. Now, whadd’ya say we go give Rhys a whipped cream moustache like we’ve been planning and celebrate our next prank war victory over your _divine_ coffee?” he suggested.

“Sounds devilishly defectless, my dear Captain,” the Welshman agreed, worry disappearing from his expression.

“I just love your vocabulary sometimes,” Jack sighed.

 

After getting yelled at by Rhys and trying a new brew Ianto had made for him to sample (even better than the last one), Jack said his farewells and went home, falling into sleep without a care in the world. That had been yesterday. That Wednesday morning, Jack had woken up with what could only be described as a feeling of impending doom.

The team was quiet at work, _eerily_ so. Not one innuendo was made before ten o’clock and everyone actually shut up and dutifully finished their paperwork. There were no games of paper basketball or “see how many of Tosh’s pencils you can steal before she notices”. Jack had several reports handed into him before noon, and he would have liked to say he was pleased because of it, but it really unnerved him. His team _never_ worked like they were supposed to, unless they were plotting something. Jack didn’t think the case was so severe this time, but it still made him uneasy.

Noon came quietly; the calm before the storm, he supposed it could be dubbed. The only indication of any change was the beeping of Owen’s watch. He stood and grabbed his coat, that all-too-familiar grin making its appearance for the first time that day.

“Time to go boys,” he announced, quickly adding, “and Tosh.”

Jack checked his own watch unconsciously, noting the time: 11.30. Why couldn’t it have been later? Maybe he should have called in sick that morning and hidden out at Torchwood instead. No, they would have checked there during lunch anyway. They would have found him and things only would have been worse because they’d be giving him hell about his choice of hideaway along with terrorising the little shop he’d come to love so much. Wow, Suzie was _really_ going to hate him after this, not that she didn’t already.

“Jack, come on,” Adam said with a tone of amusement, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Right,” Jack muttered after a moment’s hesitation. He got up and slipped his greatcoat on slowly, stalling as much as he could.

“You’ll have to point out this man you keep going on about,” Eugene said softly as he waited for him, nothing but friendly curiosity behind his words. “I’d like to meet him. He sounds like he’s been good for you, Jack.”

“He is,” the Captain confided quietly, only feeling secure enough to say anything because they were the only two left.

Eugene just gave him a knowing smile and nodded, unconsciously settling Jack’s nerves in the slightest.

 

Jack led the way through the door, ignoring Owen’s remark about the size of the shop and the condition of its sign. He lit up as soon as he saw Ianto behind the counter, who sat up a bit straighter at his appearance. He gave an order to Suzie as she passed and stood up. The dark-skinned woman’s brown eyes swept over the ragtag group that Jack was dragging along behind him and she gave the Captain a fleeting warning glare before taking her boss’ place when he headed over to the corner table Jack had picked out. They were barely seated before the Welshman had materialised in front of them.

“Ianto,” Jack greeted, unable to keep the grin off his expression. “Let me introduce Andy Davidson, Eugene Jones-Brown, Owen Harper, and the beautiful Toshiko Sato.”

Each member of Jack’s team gave a nod or wave as their names were listed. Ianto gave a polite smile, entering into the business mode he always activated when he served customers. The one he never showed Jack.

“Pleasure,” the Welshman said, reaching across the table and shaking hands with each of them. When he came to Tosh, he gracefully pulled the back of her hand to his lips before releasing it, causing a light blush to blossom across her gentle features. “What can I get for you?”

 “I’ll have what I did yesterday,” Jack requested, exchanging a look with Ianto that only they knew the meaning of.

“Yes, sir, I remember,” he nodded. “And the rest of you?”

“A vanilla chai latte?” Tosh asked, uncannily shy.

“Of course, miss,” Ianto confirmed with a charming smile.

“None of that for me, just a cuppa, two sugars,” Owen demanded with his usual uninterested tone.

“Same here,” Eugene added in.

“And me,” Adam chirped.

“Right, then, I’ll be back in a moment with your orders.”

Jack cast one last smile at the younger man as he walked away. So far, so good. Owen had managed to hold his tongue up to that point, besides the little huffs under his breath, which were even seldom. Suzie didn’t kill Jack or his co-workers as soon as they arrived. The little sign permanently reserving their table was still in its place and, fortunately, had gone unnoticed by Jack’s entourage. He was always pleased to see that it wasn’t disregarded by the other customers.

“It’s nice here,” Tosh commented. “I can see why you like it.”

“Yeah,” Jack agreed, giving her a smile. He glanced around the table apologetically before standing up and excusing himself to the bathroom, in truth skirting around the counter and stopping to exchange a brief real hello with his favourite teaboy.

“Not so bad, hmm?” he greeted.

“You were right about Miss Sato. I like her,” Ianto returned. “Pretty too.”

“Oh Ianto, you hurt me. I’m jealous, really,” Jack pouted.    

“You want me to start calling you pretty now?” the Welshman questioned.

“Only if you want to,” the Captain flirted back, batting his eyelashes at the younger man and earning himself a laugh. “I’m going to use the loo; I’ll talk to you later, alright? I can stay for at least a little while after they’re gone.”

“Sounds good,” Ianto agreed.

With that, Jack bounced away with a smile on his face. Things had been going much better than he could have hoped for, and definitely better than he had expected. That had been ten minutes ago. Now he had returned and Ianto wouldn’t meet his gaze.

As he had arrived, the Welshman had skittered away. He hadn’t thought anything of it at first, but several times now Ianto had passed their table without so much as a glance in his direction, and had twice conveniently not heard Jack call his name. He frowned, confused at his friend’s actions. So, maybe things _hadn’t_ been going as well as he thought. What had he done wrong?

“Did Ianto say anything to you?” he asked, looking at his co-workers. The previous conversation they had upheld disappeared when he voiced his question and none would look at him. Instantly, Jack’s demeanour changed, his gut twisting up in a mix of fear and rage.

“It was Owen,” Toshiko accused, voice barely above a whisper.

“Your boyfriend’s just overemotional is all, really!” Owen defended. “I didn’t mean to upset him! He overreacted; decided I’d somehow hurt his _feelings_ and-”

“That’s enough,” Jack cut him off, voice like ice. “I’m not listening to your excuses. We will have words Owen. Stay put.”

Too disgusted with his team to look at any of them, he stood and stalked to where Ianto was pointedly facing away from the table he had just been occupying, instead talking with an older woman whom he had served.

“Ianto,” he said flatly, standing so that the Welshman was forced to look at him, though he kept his gaze trained to a spot somewhere below Jack’s chin. “Kitchen, please. _Now_. Sorry to steal him away, ma’am.”

Without waiting for an answer, the Captain turned on his heels and headed for the aforementioned location, knowing the younger man would follow. Ed looked up in confusion as Jack entered, Ianto right behind him.

“Sorry, Ed, I’ll be taking over for a bit. Go have a break,” Ianto instructed.

“Yes, boss,” the cook grumbled. He looked like he wanted to know more, but thankfully restrained from asking any questions. He just shuffled out instead, leaving an egg sizzling on the stove and some muffins browning safely in the oven.

Ianto moved swiftly to watch after the food, still refusing to look at Jack. The older man came up behind him as he poked at the egg with a spatula, gently holding his wrists and resting his chin on the Welshman’s shoulder.

With a sigh of defeat, he finally turned around best he could where Jack had trapped him, meeting the Captain’s blue eyes.

“What did Owen say, Yan?” he asked, stepping back to give him some space and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Jack, it’s fine...” the teaboy answered, running a hand through his hair.

“Obviously not, judging by the way you’ve been ignoring me,” the older man snapped. “I swear I’ll kill him for this. But since whatever he said made you determined to avoid me at all costs, it’s a concern to me. I want to set right whatever’s put you off suddenly.”

Ianto stared at the ground for a moment, leaning back against the counter near the stove. The room was quiet beside the sounds of the two men’s breathing and the egg frying away in the pan without any knowledge of what was going on in the room outside. Finally, he looked up again and took a deep breath.

“He was only joking around; asked what was so spectacular about me...” Ianto trailed off for a second. “Why he hadn’t heard about our exploits in bed yet, with my appearance. I told him we’re friends; just friends, of course I did... He said you didn’t have friends; only people you work with, people you’ve slept with, and people you’re still sleeping with. And sometimes even those lines get blurred.”

“Ianto...” Jack trailed off, watching as the younger man turned around quickly. He flipped the egg and let it sit for a moment, neither of them saying anything. Without a word, he put it on a plate and turned the burner off, heading for the door. He poked his head out and had a quick word with Rhys before returning again, walking right into Jack’s arms. The Captain gave him a squeeze before releasing him again, holding the Welshman at arm’s length.  

“We’re friends, aren’t we Jack?” he blurted, looking away almost embarrassedly as soon as the words were out, like he hadn’t meant to say it.

“Of course,” the older man reassured, gently rubbing his hands along Ianto’s arms.

“I mean, I don’t want you being nice to me because you want me in bed and it’s stupid, I know it’s stupid...” Ianto babbled. “I’ve never even thought of it before. And I know you’ve gotten around, you’ve been with people. I knew that, because you’ve told me stories. Can you really blame me for getting scared, though? I’ve been used before. I don’t want it to happen again.”

“Ianto-” Jack released his grip on Ianto’s arms was silenced instantly with a gesture before he continued.  

“But you weren’t just doing that with me, and I know that. You’re not like that. I shouldn’t have even doubted it. But, I mean, now I want to know... For curiosity’s sake… I mean, you haven’t…W-Well… Have you slept with any of them? Your co-workers, I mean?”

“Ianto Jones!” Jack gasped, pulling a face. “How could you even ask that? You’ve met them, haven’t you? They’re all arrogant twats! Please, I have standards!”

Ianto laughed, a sweet sound that made the older man smile, happy to have his teaboy back to his normal mood.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” the younger man apologised. “I should never have doubted you.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” Jack agreed jokingly, smiling gently. “You’re my best friend, I’d think you’d have more faith in me. Then again, you’re the one who’s supposed to stop me from doing stupid things, yet you still let me bring these idiots around to almost ruin things.”

“I think part of that job description is joining you in stupid things as well,” Ianto shot back. “Sometimes it’s hard to tell which one I’m supposed to be doing. Forgive me for slipping up once in awhile.”

“You’re forgiven,” Jack sung as the timer beeped announcing it was time to get the muffins. Without a second thought, the Captain pulled on the oven mitts that Ed had left on the counter and pulled both pans out, one in each hand. He sat them down on an empty spot on the counter, still talking. “How about we give Ed his kitchen back and go make Owen apologise. Bring coffee, it’ll help him get over himself long enough to say sorry.”

“Jack, you don’t have to-”

 “Yes I do,” Jack cut him off. “My underlings, my responsibility.”

“Really, you rank over them?” Ianto asked curiously. “How important are you?”

“Not very. They’re just kind of my team,” Jack answered off-handedly, shaking his head a bit. “Anyways, not the point. Come on. I’m sure going to let Owen have it. Giving him a lesson in humility by making him say he’s sorry will just be the first step.”

“I’ll assist in any way I can,” Ianto agreed with a mischievous grin.

Jack led the Welshman over to the table after informing a grateful Ed that he could have his kitchen back. Tosh gave the pair a worried smile when they approached and Jack patted her hand reassuringly, a fleeting gesture before he turned his attention to Owen.

“Harper,” he snapped, commanding the doctor’s attention.

“What?” Owen asked, pausing a moment before meeting Jack’s eyes.

“I want you to apologise to Ianto,” Jack commanded.

“ _What?_ ” Owen spluttered. “Are you kidding me? Jack, come _on._ That’s ridiculous! I’m not _apologising_! I didn’t do anything!”

“You were being an arse,” the older man said simply. “Apologise.”

Owen looked around desperately, silently asking for some kind of support from any of his co-workers. Andy only gave him a pointed look, while Toshiko glared at him and Eugene shrunk in his seat, staring at the table. Owen huffed, turning back to the pair at the edge of the table, looking at Ianto with more of a scowl than anything else.

“I’m sorry,” he managed with a begrudging smile. “I didn’t mean to upset you.

  The Welshman’s smile in return was so honest that it was almost painful for Jack to look at. He could never believe how a person could be hurt like that and still hold no grudge, feel no hatred or anger towards the offender. But Jack had seen it several times in the weeks he had known Ianto. He’d been snapped at by customers and insulted pointlessly by wandering drunkards, but said nothing in return, made no unnecessarily cruel remarks. He had treated Jack with nothing but kindness when he had first invaded the teaboy’s shop in the ungodly hours he had appeared during their first meeting.

“It’s fine,” Ianto said. “I understand. There was no harm done. Would you like a refill? On the house.”

Owen’s blinked in surprise, staring up at him. He was speechless for a second before he seemed to snap out of his stupor.

“Yeah, sure,” he said. “Thanks.”

The Welshman moved forward with the coffee pot in his hand, tipping it over Owen’s cup and pouring him a fresh glass. When it was full, he pulled away. As he did, however, the pot sudden slipped from his hand, landing on Owen’s lap and dumping hot coffee over his trousers. The doctor let out a cry as Ianto quickly picked up the pot once again.

“You idiot!” Owen hollered.

“I’m so sorry!” Ianto apologised quickly, a worried expression crossing his face as he handed napkins over to the man at the table. There was a clamour as Toshiko fussed over her friend, checking to see if he was alright while Andy and Eugene laughed, Owen cursing Ianto, who had quick apologies rushing from his lips.

“I’ll pay for the dry cleaning, sir,” the Welshman promised.

“You’re damn right you will!” Owen shot back.

When no one was paying attention to them, Jack caught the wink Ianto flashed in his direction out of the corner of his eye and burst into a grin.

 

Everyone besides Jack left shortly after the incident, Owen returning to his flat for a change of clothes and the other three returning to work. Jack stayed behind, helping Ianto to clean up the mess he’d made. They didn’t speak for a while, wiping at the table until Jack finally broke the silence.

“You did that on purpose,” he accused with a smile.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ianto said, sounding as innocent as he could. The illusion was broken quickly by the grin that broke out on his face.

“Nice job,” Jack congratulated.

“Just helping you- what did you call it, “teach a lesson in humility”?”

“Well, whatever the purpose, it was hilarious,” Jack said. The two men looked at each other and burst into a fit of giggles. Their attempts at cleaning the table were abandoned instantly.  

“Ianto, you are spectacular!”

“Ah, don’t be  so quick to be thanking me,” Ianto said, expression suddenly grim. “I’m afraid I’m placing you with the promised dry cleaning bill.”

“How’s that fair?” Jack asked, a playful grin stretching across his features.

“I believe it qualifies as “damages”, which I remember you promising to pay for yesterday…” Ianto clarified, returning his grin.

“Ok, so maybe I do recall saying something along those lines…” Jack said. “Fine, you win.”          

Jack was starting to think that bringing his co-workers around _hadn’t_ ended in such a bad way after all. Because, somehow, the conversation they’d had in the kitchen had felt liberating. Because Ianto really _was_ his best friend, and he’d had such a bad track record concerning people he cared about, and there weren’t any left because he’d managed to ruin those relationships and it was nice to have someone who knew about that. Ianto did- he knew about all of Jack’s past hook-ups and nearly non-existent friendships. And maybe he didn’t know _everything_ about Jack, sure, but it had been enough to drive people away before and Ianto was still around.

Somehow, he had a feeling that he’d be stuck with the peculiar coffeeshop owner for awhile. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nope, I still haven't figured out how to end chapters since last time. I really don't know if you were expecting differently or not. Sorry.  
> Pfft... I don't know. This chapter went in a totally different direction from what I'd planned. Apparently I can't write anything without turning it into something serious. I guess I'm not entirely happy with how this turned out, but I really don't know what else to do with it. And it's kind of important for later on? So here it is, I guess... Bleh. It's late. I don't know anymore.  
> 


	4. Suzie organizes a deathtrap and makes everyone her personal monkeys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suzie orchestrates a scavenger hunt for everyone at Torchwood (including Jack) and it seems like a good idea in the beginning, at least…
> 
> Day 19- Monday 3 September

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I think this chapter is overall just fun, or I tried to make it so at least, to make up for the rest of this terrible story! I don't actually know though, because I started writing it probably a month or more ago and haven't really gone back and read it. Also I don't have a beta, so... There will probably be problems. Don't be afraid to point them out.  
> 

Suzie was out to get Jack.

Sure, he knew she had taken a disliking to him before she even actually met him. It was amazing how many times people actually did that when Jack was concerned, so that wasn’t the part that bothered him. No, that was the fact that she literally went home and plotted his demise every night. (He didn’t have any proof, but he was sure it was true. Ianto had rolled his eyes at the theory when Jack presented it, but he didn’t deny anything, which the Captain took as an agreement.)

Sure, a lot of people wanted him out of their lives. He’d had a gun pointed at him too many times to count in his lifetime. But if Jack had to name any one person who might actually be responsible for his death, no one who had tried to kill him came close to the same likelihood of succeeding as Suzie Costello. Because when she gave a death glare, it was absolutely _withering_. The fact that it was because she was looking out for Ianto only made her more terrifying.

This bothered Jack to no end. Because the fact that she was such good friends with Ianto somehow made him strive for her approval. He doubted that she even suspected his true intentions towards her. How much he wanted to be on her good side was a surprise, especially to him. And there was that little part of him that somehow _knew_ he was never going to get it. Not really. She just didn’t trust him. Because, honestly, he also knew that he deserved it, and she was right not to trust him. Especially not with something as delicate as one of her mates’ friendship.

But when she actually tried to _kill_ him? Now, that was a surprise to everyone.

 

Everything began with the great scavenger hunt. 

It started innocently enough. Of course, things always seemed to with them. The War of the Beans, The _Second_ War of the Beans, when Jack caught the oven on fire, and that time with the mop? They had all begun like any normal day. That Monday had been no different. And no one had been expecting _Suzie_ , of all people, to catch them by surprise.

Jack decided to spend his day at Torchwood. He went to work, filed some papers, and got made it back to the coffeeshop around ten. Everything had been running fine, and even more so since Jack was helping out during lunch hours. It was when things had died down around one thirty and there were only a couple tables left with occupants that Suzie pounced.

Jack and Ianto had been leaning against the front desk talking while Rhys swept some biscuit crumbs from underneath the tables. Suzie had finished wiping down the tables when she headed for the door with purpose. The way she moved and in the particular direction she was heading caught Ianto’s attention, and he stopped to watch her curiously. When she flipped the sign in the window to close the store, everyone froze. The sudden silence that had struck Ianto and Jack, who had followed the Welshman’s eyes as soon as his attention had left, caught Rhys’ attention as well.

She put her hands on her hips and turned around, looking pointedly at each of the gaping men in turn, as if daring them to change it back. Ed came out a moment later with a plate of muffins and only raised an eyebrow when he caught his girlfriend’s eye. As if sensing the awkward silence, the only remaining patrons filed out quickly, having to pass Suzie, who thanked them on their way out. There was another moment of silence before the tension snapped.

“What are you doing?” Ianto bristled, accent heavy in his annoyance as he looked close to exploding. “It’s one in the bloody afternoon! We’re not even close to closing time!”

“We’re taking a day off,” Suzie answered him coolly.

“ _Oi!_ ” Ianto protested, crossing the room to her before Jack or Ed could stop him. “You’re mad! Who do you think is in charge here?! Last I checked, _my_ name’s on the lease!”

“I’d remember your place, Costello,” Jack backed almost instinctively, his military side coming out briefly.

“And I’d remember _yours_ , Harkness!” Suzie snapped, loosing her calm demeanour for a moment. “You don’t even work here!”

“But he’s not going around undermining me!” Ianto said with a bit of a squeak, looming over her.

Luckily, Ed chose that moment to step in before tensions could escalate further. He gently came between Suzie and Ianto. Not remembering his decision to do it, Jack had already gone up and grabbed Ianto’s arm lightly, pulling him back a step. Somewhere in there, Rhys had joined their impromptu circle, likely trying to help stabilise the situation.

“Everyone just relax,” Ed soothed, his quiet, gruff voice instantly bringing everyone down a notch. He looked between them and once at Rhys before facing his girlfriend again. “Now, Suzie, why don’t you tell us what this is all about, hmm?”

She took a deep breath, cooling down again instantly. “I just thought we could all use a fun day. I didn’t mean anything by it,” she said calmly, features relaxing into what was almost a smile instead of a smirk. “I made a sort of _game_ for us. Well, for you all, anyways.”

“A game?” Rhys asked, arching an eyebrow at the prospect. Suzie’s idea of fun was, well… Not usually so much fun, especially where her friends (read—Jack) were concerned.

“Yea,” she confirmed, pulling a bag from somewhere so fast that no one was quite sure whether it had really just appeared or if they just didn’t notice it before. “A treasure hunt, of sorts. Around town. There will be two teams. I won’t be playing, since I made the lists and that’s not really fair. Some are items you have to find and some are things that you have to do and present video or photographic evidence of. Sound alright?”

And just like that, she had the men cornered. They were all terribly competitive and none was willing to back down from her obvious challenge. That mischievous gleam in her eye should have told them off right away, but of course they weren’t smart enough to run as fast as they could. A decision they would entirely be regretting later.

“You’ll have until six to get as much done as you can,” Suzie continued the rules, knowing without them saying anything that she had them all caught. “Whichever team brings back the most complete list wins.”

“Wins what?” Jack asked instantly.

Suzie just gave him a chilling grin. He should have known from right then that it was a terrible idea, and she was so _obviously_ setting them up. But, of course, he couldn’t just throw in the towel. She would surely never give him any sort of respect for chickening out. Then again, chickening out would probably have been the less stupid and reckless option, and she might actually have gained a little respect for him. As it was, though? Jack was the king of stupid and reckless.

“You already have teams, I presume?” she asked, glancing at where Jack still had a hold on Ianto’s arm. He quickly let go under her gaze.

“I call Ed!” Rhys claimed quickly, jumping over to the blonde’s side with the excitement of a seven-year old.

“Good,” Suzie approved, the devilish grin appearing. She pulled two folders, one blue and one red, and two digital cameras of the same colours out of her bag, warning, “Don’t look at the lists until after I tell you outside. If you need photo or video evidence, it will say. _No cheating._ Harkness, I’m looking at you. Come on, then, outside we go.”

She opened the door, beckoning for the men to go first. Once they were outside the shop, she handed each team their things, giving the blue folder to Ed and the red to Ianto, commanding, “Take a look.”

Ianto handed Jack the camera and opened the folder, reading over the checklist, the older man doing the same over his shoulder. Eyes widened at some particular items on the list, specifically some of the things that required photographic evidence.

“Have fun!” came the ominously cheery wish from Suzie, followed by a twinkling of the bells on the door. When they turned around, it was closed and she was smirking at them from safely inside Torchwood. Rhys threw himself at the door, pulling on the handle.

“It’s locked!” he cried. “She locked us out!”

“Shite,” Ianto swore. “My keys are inside.”

The three Torchwood employees glanced at each other. Suzie had planned, of course. None of them had a way of getting back in until they amused the woman enough for her to open the door again. Ianto glared at her where she was standing in front of the window watching them and laughing. She simply tapped at her watch.

“Since we don’t have a choice in the matter, we might as well win,” Jack said with a tone of utter indifference. In fact, he was actually enjoying himself to no ends.

It took but a moment for that to sink in before Rhys and Ed were running off down the street, the former cackling, “Not if we win first, you bloody arse!”

“So, I think it would be most efficient to approach this tactfully. We need a plan of action in order to complete each request on the list-” When Ianto got no response, he turned to face Jack, finding the older man already metres away, running in the opposite direction from where Rhys had taken off. “ _Jack_!”

 

“ _Ow_ ,” Jack whined, tenderly rubbing at the growing bump on his head that was still quite sore after the beating he’d taken.

“You deserved it,” Ianto said calmly as he studied the list, walking along beside the Captain. “I would have whapped you with my umbrella as well had you approached my children like that.”

“I saw an opportunity and I took it!” Jack protested. “It’s Suzie’s damn fault anyway. I can’t _believe_ she would make us sit with an unknown family at a restaurant! Besides, the little mice adored my stories.”

“Still, you don’t walk up to children in a restaurant while they’re not with their mother, _offer them candy_ , and ask if they want to hear you ‘spin a yarn of bravery and heroics under the strife of war,’” Ianto admonished, rolling his eyes and tucking the papers away in his coat. They had since ditched the red folder, finding it cumbersome to carry about and too big to fit in Jack’s greatcoat pockets. “You’re lucky I came about.”

“Yes, thank you for playing the dashing hero,” Jack mumbled, half-hoping the Welshman wouldn’t catch it. Though it was said in a tone that implied sarcasm, he really did mean it. Somehow, was sure Ianto knew that.

“Right, so, I think we should try for one of the social ones first,” Ianto continued, trying and failing to hide a smile at his friend’s comment. He wasn’t overly adverse to being dubbed a _dashing hero_ , either. Especially the “dashing” part. “We should find a married couple, get someone to buy one of us a drink, or get a man’s number-”

“Done,” Jack said with a grin, hurrying off again.

“Jack!” Ianto shouted after him.

He sighed in exasperation and watched from a distance as the older man approached a complete stranger with his usual complete disregard of the concept of personal space. One of those patented Jack Harkness grins came out, just like the one he used to accompany jokes regarding his apron. Ianto knew the power that look could have; he’d seen many girls (and, well, men too) melt under it at the store. He was just glad he was immune.

As, so it seemed, was the man Jack was currently attempting to come on to. Ianto stifled a laugh at the scene. He knew his friend was in trouble when his victim tried to dodge around the very insistent Captain, looking annoyed when his moves were predicted and he was blocked. When Jack was shoved off into an elderly woman and earned himself a whack to the back of the head with her purse, Ianto couldn’t stop himself.

Jack came back to him slowly, pouting as he nursed the impending bump on his head. He put on a look somewhere between a grumpy cat and a kicked puppy when he found the Welshman in tears from his laughter.

“S’not funny,” he murmured in the best sympathy-getting voice he could come up with while obviously fighting back a smile.

“It is and you know it!” Ianto managed. “And you’re not getting any pity from me! It was your own damn fault, Jack. I think you deserved it!”

Jack’s resolve shattered, his grin shining through as he choked on a laugh. “So maybe I did. Any better ideas?”

Ianto paused for a moment, his grin unfaltering. He glanced around them, eyes falling on a tall building not far away from their current location.

“Yes, actually.”

Ianto straightened his tie and readjusted his jacket over his waistcoat, smoothing down the folds. Jack just gave him a curious look, trying to figure out what he was thinking. The Welshman was moving away in the next couple seconds. It took Jack a moment to follow him, hardly realising he’d gone until he was already steps ahead.

“What are you planning?” Jack asked as soon as he’d caught up, keeping stride with Ianto easily.

“You’ll see,” Ianto answered unhelpfully. “Just follow my lead and play along.”

He stopped only briefly in front of the building and took a breath, entering with a confidence Jack hadn’t seen before, as he hardly needed to exude it within the walls of Torchwood.

“Wait here,” Ianto commanded in a whisper, stopping just inside the doors, standing where they wouldn’t be in the way. “Quietly.”

Steeling himself, he walked up to the reception desk like he belonged in the strange building. Almost as if he owned the ground it stood on and the shoes of all the people who walked across that same ground.

“May I help you?” the woman at the reception desk asked automatically, tucking a dark brown curl behind her ear and waiting.

“Yes, I believe you can,” Ianto responded with a sweet smile in her direction. “I’m actually here only as a representative. I’ve been sent to scout out a meeting for my employer. What are some of the times you might have available?”

“Let me see.” She turned to her keyboard and flipped open a little agenda book, scanning through both, checking and cross-referencing. She stopped for a moment as something loaded onscreen and glanced at Jack. “Sorry, who’s your companion?”

“Hmm?” Ianto glanced back at his friend and gave him a quick, discreet smile before giving the receptionist his eyes again. “Ah, that would be my chauffer. We’ve been out and about today, catching some air and running some errands.”

“I see,” she said, a smile making its appearance on her features. She turned her monitor out so Ianto could take a look at the calendar on its screen. “Here’s what we have available right now this month. Does anything here suffice?”

Ianto studied it for a while, taking notes on a pad of paper that was on the counter. He scribbled down a few dates and times before ripping the top sheet off, showing it to her.

“My employer is very busy. He likes to make changes to his schedule without informing me until the last minute, so of course only he can have the final say,” he explained. “If you could just hold these times open for me? At least until the end of the day. Please do open them up again if I haven’t contacted you by tonight. After all, my employer is also extensively prone to changing his mind.”

“I don’t hold times without an appointment often, but…” the receptionist gave him a wide smile, which was returned tenfold by the charming young Welshman.. “Of course.”

“Oh, almost forgot,” Ianto stopped, looking over the desk at a pile of business cards on display, but just out of his reach, “I’ll need a way to get back in contact with you after my employer has made a decision.”

The woman grabbed a card from the stack and scribbled something on it quickly before handing it across to him. “Yea,” she agreed as he took it, looking it over. “And maybe outside of that too.”

“Thank you very much,” Ianto said politely, giving her a last flash of teeth before turning back around and heading for Jack. He held up the business card brandishing the contact information of a _Mr. Mark Perigrine_ (mobile, work number, _and_ fax), with a triumphant look, silently flipping it around so Jack could see the name and number of the receptionist written out in neat cursive letters with a purple pen and a little heart dotting the ‘i’ in _Emily_.

He just happened to casually put a hand on the small of Ianto’s back and guide him out, making sure the gesture was right in her range of vision.

“I can’t believe that actually worked,” Ianto breathed as soon as they were clear of the building. “I thought for sure she was going to see right through it.”

“Are you kidding? You had her hooked. Clever, though,” Jack grinned, dropping his hand from the younger man’s back. “But _chauffer_ , really?”

“That was actually planned,” Ianto said slyly. “But she didn’t suspect a thing! And I got a man’s number… along with an extra one. Maybe it worked a bit too well?”

Jack deftly snatched the little card from between his friend’s fingers before he could commit the sequence to memory, something the Captain knew he was good at and could do quickly.

“Yea, a bit,” he said without meaning to. Clearing his throat, he added hastily, “Well, onto the next challenge. What’s left?”

Ianto gave him a funny look before shrugging it off and retrieving the list from his coat pocket. “Let’s see… Want to steal a shoe or sign a building?”

 

They hit two items at once when Jack scaled a building to snag one of the many union flags lining its roof and they were caught by a policeman who had just been passing by on break. When Ianto explained what they were doing, they got away with a stern talking-to and managed to get a photo of Jack handcuffed to the officer as well. They made sure to thank him generously before going on to the next task. They did manage to sign their names on the side of a building in large font and while Ianto was taking a picture, Jack disappeared. When he returned five minutes later, he had somehow managed to make off with some poor soul’s left shoe. Ianto never did figure out how.

There were some surprisingly mundane things on their list, which the pair easily acquired at the store. Jack requested a large paper bag, to which they added the items they already had, along with a pink fleece blanket with whale print, orca pillow pet, box of holiday-themed tissues (“In August? Really?” Ianto voiced, giving the item a glare of disapproval), and fifty-count package of graham crackers. After that, they were stuck trying to decide a course of action.

“We don’t have time for much else,” Ianto reported, closing his pocket watch and tucking it back into his coat pocket. “It’s 5.23 now. I’d say we can accomplish one more thing before we need to go back. I’m sure there will be consequences if we’re late.”

“What do you think we can get done?” Jack asked, absorbed in carefully studying the list. There were plenty of things left. He thought that if they timed it carefully, he might be able to pick out a route that would let them hit two or more items on the list and still make it back to Torchwood in time. The options they had were numerous indeed. There was no way Suzie could have expected them to get _everything_ she had listed _._ Jack turned to ask Ianto what he thought, only to find there was no one there.

He looked around frantically, panic seizing him instantly. The scavenger hunt that he’d been so intent on was suddenly at the back of his mind as his silent alarm bells went off. His hand instantly flew to his belt, only to come up empty. Right, no gun. Why would he be carrying one now, anyway? Jack whirled around, searching through the people on the streets. He was just getting ready to phone the police or throw punches when he spotted Ianto five metres away, gaze trained across the street.

Jack breathed a physical sigh of relief, pushing down his fear and forcing himself to relax. Thinking about it, it was stupid to think that Ianto had somehow gotten dragged off without his noticing. He scolded himself mentally for dreaming up the notion. If it had been any longer, he might have caused a stir unnecessarily. He doubted that the police would have been very happy with him, causing a commotion twice in one day.

Trying to settle his breathing back to it’s normal rate so as not to alert Ianto to his near seizure over the Welshman’s brief disappearance, Jack slowly started towards him. He had to keep reminding himself that he was just overreacting. It all got to him, sometimes. It was the war, but it was also him, and what he did. It made him jumpy, made his thoughts fly to crisis situation instead of taking time to consider other possibilities.

“Jack, you ok?”

Jack blinked, looking straight into the stunningly blue eyes of his teaboy, who he had somehow managed to reach while his mind wandered. It took a second for his brain to catch up and register Ianto’s words. When it did, he put on a grin and responded with false cheer. “Yea, of course! Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, your grip on my arm is awfully tight…”

The older man let go instantly, not realising that he’d latched on to Ianto’s arm as soon as he found him. He mumbled a quick apology, keeping up a smile that was only met with a concerned gaze.

“You sure?” Ianto asked softly.

“Yea. Don’t worry,” Jack assured, his smile becoming less forced. “Just a bit tired is all.”

It wasn’t a lie.

“We can stop now if you want.”

“No, I’ll be fine,” answered Jack. “You’re planning something already, I can tell. And _I’m_ not going to be the one to get in the way of your brainchild. What are you thinking?”

“Well, see that couple over there?” Ianto pointed to a table across the street. It was sitting in front of a nice albeit quaint little restaurant, and a man and a woman were seated there, big smiles across both their faces. Jack nodded. “I’d bet you twenty quid that they’ve recently been married. Within a month at the most.”

“Fifty,” Jack bargained.

“Thirty,” Ianto shot back, just as quickly.

“Deal. So I take it you’re getting at the honeymoon locations one?”

“Get a list of good honeymoon locations from a married couple and take a picture with them,” Ianto recited. “If you think we can pull it off, anyways. I think it’d be fun to try.”

“What are you waiting for then?” Jack grinned.

They headed across the street and were at the restaurant before either of them could even think of trying to come up with a plan of action. Before they knew it, Ianto was clearing his throat nervously, standing over two vacant chairs across from the couple they had spotted before.

“Hi, sorry,” he began, fumbling over his words a bit. “I was just wondering- You’ve just recently married, haven’t you?”

“Oh, well yes,” the woman answered, seeming a bit surprised, but not overly put-off.

“Just a month ago tomorrow now,” her husband added, putting his arm around her shoulders and absentmindedly running his fingers through her golden hair. She giggled, leaning into him slightly. Ianto turned from the affectionate display to give Jack a triumphant glance. The older man just huffed quietly, giving his attention back to their quest.

“Right, then,” he started, giving the couple a patented Harkness grin. “So, we were just looking at some potential honeymoon locations, but none of our friends are married, so they haven’t been much help.”

“I know you don’t know us or anything, but we just thought you might be able to give some suggestions…” Ianto added. “Sorry to have bothered you over this, really. If it’s too much trouble, then-”

“No, of course not!” the woman interrupted him, gesturing to the seats across from them quickly. “Please sit! We’d be happy to talk with you! Right?”

“Of course,” her husband agreed. “Introductions first; I’m Mark Dale, and this is Kathryn.”

The two men happily took the chairs offered to them, settling in at the table with a flurry of handshakes and names being thrown across. In a minute, they looked like they fit in. To any passersby, the four at the table could have been lifelong friends instead of four strangers who had started up a conversation not five minutes ago. Jack had to admit, they were nice. And he was having fun thinking up his own false world.

He’d decided out of the blue that his fake fiancée’s name would be Clarisse. They’d met during Jack’s time in London before the war, and she’d waited for him to come home. They’d waited a couple years so they could secure a steady income before getting married. It was believable enough, if not highly improbable, and definitely a stretch for anyone who really knew him. Sure, it was romanticised. But he could always dream, couldn’t he?

“Jack, what do you think?”

Jack was brought back to reality as Ianto gently nudged him. He glanced over at the pamphlet that the Welshman was pointing to, one of many that Kathryn had luckily happened to have stashed in her large bag of a purse. This particular one was advertising a beach in the Jamaica’s, promising a private cabin and excellent time for all the cliché romantic beach things anyone could think of.

“I don’t know about the temperatures, though,” Ianto said. “My fiancée is quite picky.”

“Yeah, mine too,” Jack didn’t hesitate to agree. He couldn’t help but smile at the way the younger man dedicated himself to studying the brochures. He looked completely serious, too.

A waiter came by and put down four glasses of water in front of each of them, to Jack’s amusement. He didn’t hesitate to take a drink. Running around all day on Suzie’s crazy egg hunt had made him thirstier than he’d realised. And kind of hungry too. Absorbed in his own silent victory over how they’d managed to fit it well enough for the waiter to think they were going to _buy_ something, he almost missed Kathryn’s giggled, “Oh, you two are so _cute!_ ”

It took a second for the implication of that small statement to fit in, but as soon as it did, Jack’s water was spraying out of his mouth as he choked on his drink in surprise. Ianto did a much better job of covering it up, though he was obviously just as startled by what they’d unwittingly led the other couple to believe.

“Oh! Are you ok?” Kathryn worried, watching as Ianto patted Jack’s back, trying to get him stop coughing.

“Yea,” he choked out quickly, “Just went down wrong.”

Jack grabbed his glass, taking another slow drink of water. He set it down again, watching Ianto and waiting for him to correct the pair. All he did was glance at his pocket watch and say, “Don’t worry, he’s fine. Please, do go on.”

The Captain shot his friend a questioning look and Ianto returned an almost apologetic smile before looking away, diligently sorting through some brochures.

“Well, we actually decided to spend a week in a cabin in the country,” Mark continued. “We just got back, actually. It was really nice for us. But some people like less solitary locations. It all depends on what you’re looking for.”

“All couples are different!” Kathryn chirped. “I’m not sure if I we have any rights to say what would make a better holiday. You have to look around and see for yourself what there is to offer, really. It just depends on what you prefer.”

  “Yea, you’re right,” Jack said. “Thank you for your help, though. Really, we appreciate it.”

“Of course!” Kathryn responded, looking at her husband. “It was our pleasure! We’re happy we could be of service to a couple like you two… Really, I wish you all the happiness in the world for the future.”

“Thanks,” Jack muttered, looking down at the table embarrassedly. This whole situation they’d found themselves in was insane. It was so surreal, as well; one of those things where you knew it was happening but couldn’t quite tell if it was in a dream or real life.

“Sorry, but could I ask you one more favour?” Ianto added. “Do you think we could take these with us to look at in more detail later? If you want to keep them, of course I understand-”

“No, please!” Mark cut in. “We don’t need them anymore. Kathryn just hasn’t remembered to take them out of her bag yet. Can you believe it? She’s so forgetful sometimes!”

“Hello, kettle!” his wife interrupted, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m joshing, of course,” Mark smiled, leaning in to sneak a kiss onto her cheek. “But, help yourself, please.”

“Thank you,” Ianto said, unable to suppress a smile at the couple’s affection. He carefully gathered up the colourful papers scattered about the table, just in time as well. Almost the second he had them all gathered together, a waiter came by and set down plates in front of the pair across from them. Ianto handed the papers off to Jack, who picked up their bag from where he’d set it on the ground next to his chair and added them to their collection.

“We should probably be going, then,” Jack suggested. He got up and stood next to Kathryn, pulling the camera out of his pocket and taking a picture with only a forewarning of, “Smile!”

Ianto rolled his eyes and shook Mark’s proffered hand with an apologetic smile. “Sorry. I hope that’s alright. He likes to take pictures of people he meets and put them in scrapbooks and such. Something about ‘remembering the little things’? he lied easily. “I don’t know. I don’t get it, I suppose. But it’s a sweet notion.”

“Oh, shush, I know you find it adorable,” Jack shot back, giving the Welshman a genuine grin. His teaboy just shook his head, smiling.

“Come on, Jack. Suzie will be waiting,” he said pointedly. “We’d best get on.”

Their goodbyes were repeated and the two men walked away, leaving the couple to their meal. Sure that they were still watching, Jack casually wrapped his fingers around Ianto’s as they went down the sidewalk.

Neither of them noticed when their hands stayed connected long after they were out of view of the restaurant.

 

Jack and Ianto arrived back at Torchwood before Rhys and Ed did. They were thankful to find the door unlocked. Suzie was sitting at a table waiting for them, a glass of ice water in front of her. They handed their bag of items to her and took a seat and their table, talking to each other and the woman at the other table as they waited for the other team to arrive. Suzie had dumped their things out and was sorting through them, making her way through the checklist, when Rhys and Ed arrived.

“You’re three minutes late,” Ianto said when they entered, both breathing heavily.

“Oh shut up, we ran as fast as we could,” Rhys managed. He cast a glare in the direction of his boss with a huff before disappearing back into the kitchen. Ed, on the other hand, stopped in front of Suzie after putting a similar bag of items on the table.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” he demanded softly, crossing his arms over his chest. Suzie froze and the room instantly went silent.

“It’s fine,” she answered quietly with a sigh. “I went home and rested all day. Besides, it was fun, wasn’t it? I wanted to do something nice for you. All of you.”

She looked up finally, glancing across at Ianto and Jack and giving them a faint smile. Ed didn’t budge. Suddenly, Jack understood.

“You had a migraine?” he asked no one in particular. There was no answer, but he knew he was right.

“You should have told me,” Ed frowned, more worried than anything else.

“You’re getting sick too, aren’t you?” Ianto added.

“Caught that, did you?” Suzie answered with a smirk, a sense of her regular self returning. When Jack just cast the younger man a confused look, she sighed and added, “I ran you around the city and made you buy me things on top of it. Pink fleece whale blanket, Christmas tissues? You know, I do love graham crackers.”

“She does,” Ed confirmed with a small smile, putting a hand on his girlfriend’s back and placing a kiss on her forehead. “And whales.”

“Sea creatures, really, but whales especially,” she added, smiling.

“I have to compliment you, though,” Jack added from his seat. “Really, you are more diabolical than I gave you credit for. Make us run around the city putting ourselves in embarrassing situations and recording photo evidence, and _on top of that_ , trick us into buying you things. You have my respect.”

“Coming from the king of sneaking your way into things, I suppose I should be flattered,” Suzie smirked. “Coming from you though? Harkness, I can’t quite pull off the whiny bitc-”

“Suzie!” Ianto protested, cutting her off. She blinked innocently at him, shrugging. Jack couldn’t hold back his laughter.

“Alright, now you four get! Go spend time on the other side of the room!” she commanded. “I need space to determine a winner, and I don’t need any cheaters! I know you would!”

She glared pointedly at Jack and Rhys, who said nothing to deny it. The two teams retreated to opposite sides of the room, though Ed was hesitant at first. Finally, Suzie seemed to convince him she’d be fine and he joined Rhys, waiting anxiously for the result with the rest of them.

Finally, Suzie tucked the cameras into her pockets and returned the rest of the game pieces to their bags, besides the things that she’d tricked them into buying for her. She stood up dramatically, beckoning the boys over to the table. They surrounded her in a moment. She glanced at each of them, clearing her throat before speaking.

“It was a close game, and both teams excelled past my expectations. Honestly, I expected all four of you to botch it,” she began seriously. “But... Though it was a close game, there can only be one winner, which is determined by the number of points each team earned by completing tasks or retrieving items. And the winners by a mere five points… Rhys and Ed!”

“Ha! Yes!” Rhys shouted with a whoop, jumping up out of his seat. “Take that Harkness! I am the lord!”

In under two seconds, Jack was chasing him out the door and down the street, the two shouting profanities back and forth like children.

“They’re going to be awhile,” Ianto sighed, otherwise indifferent. “Tea?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? That wasn't so bad was it? And, hey, I think I actually ended it well for once! Whoop! Let me know what you think?  
> Love to all until next update! <3


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